"Are Your Parents Normal??" Our Counselling Session

Counsellor (who has an accent): “Are your periods normal?”

Me (shooting “M” a confused look): “huh? Parents?”

“M”: “Yeah, ya mum”

Me (looking back to counsellor): “Are my parents normal???” (thinking to myself….define normal)

Counsellor: “Are your PERIODS normal?”

Me: “OH! Yes, yes they’re normal”

Yesterday afternoon we had our mandatory counselling session for the baby-making process. I had been stressing about it for a week. What questions will they ask? Is there a right/wrong answer? Will she put a big red FAIL stamp next to our names? If so, can we resit the counselling test in 4 weeks? I was more nervous about this session than I was going for my driver’s licence…...for the second time (I failed the first time).

All that worrying wasn’t necessary. The purpose of the counselling session is to talk to couples using donor sperm about things that may arise within your family unit after having a child in a same sex family. She asked us questions like, what will you tell the child when he/she asks why “Johnny” has a mum & a dad & they don’t? How will you tell the child? She asked about our own family backgrounds and environments and also our relationship. We discussed our support systems, our family and friends. She also talked to us about using an unknown donor and all that it involves and why we decided on that route. We went over the legalities as well. There was really nothing to be nervous about. Everything we discussed in our counselling session, Kate and I had already talked about anyway, as I’m sure a lot of people going through this process will have done before getting to this stage.

We passed with flying colours and I couldn’t wait to get out of there. It felt like sitting in the boss’s office. We walked out with a sigh of relief that we could cross that step off our list and we were now one step closer to having a baby. Kate cracked a few funnies about my parents being normal and we headed home to make pizzas.

Now we just wait for my period to arrive so I can have my blood tests and ultrasound before our next scheduled Drs appointment. It’s the first time since getting my period at the age of 12 that I’m actually hanging for it to get here. It better not be late, dammit!

The closer we get, the MORE exciting it gets. This is really happening!

IVF appointment numero uno

Today was our first appointment to get the ball rolling. We saw a lovely Doctor (a Gynaecologist linked to the fertility clinic we’ll attend)  who went through the whole IVF process with us, how ovulating works, what the  injections do and she also gave me the blood test sheet that states what I need to get tested for. I have to get these blood tests on day 2, 3 or 4 of my next period due early March. They’ll be testing for STIs, my hormone levels, and about 20 other things that I can’t think of off the top of my head. The week after my period, I’ll go in for an internal ultrasound (fun times) to have a look at my ovaries and the like. Kate got her tests done there and then, also testing for STIs. She didn’t flinch when she had the blood drawn. It will be a different story with me. Something I better get over quick smart! Our results will be sent back to our Doc and our next appointment will be on the 12^th of March to go over them, sign consent forms, and go onto the next step….off to the fertility clinic to choose our anonymous international sperm donor and have orientation, where we’ll be shown how to use the injections and so forth.

After answering some questions about my medical history, period history, smoking, drinking, etc, the Doctor said she was really optimistic about us having success quite quickly. Obviously she can’t say she’s %100 sure it will happen, but again, quite optimistic. That was great to hear!

In the meantime, we’re booked in to have a counselling session in a week and a half, I assume to make sure we’re sane parenting material. If I thought today was nerve wracking, I have another thing coming. I’m imagining it will be like sitting in the principal’s office, getting quizzed on all things lesbian parenting and having to give the right answers. Is it a pass/fail thing? Will we be told we’re too cray-cray to parent a baby and be turned away? I’ll be sure to tell Kate not to make her “bug eyes” during the session, which she thinks is hilarious.

At this stage, we’re hoping to begin IVF mid May, but it could be June. Either way, we’re very excited and looking forward to what lies ahead for us!

Introduction

I’ve been rather excited about starting this blog for months and now I’m feeling nervous. Although immediate family have known about our TTC (trying to conceive) plans since the beginning, and have been more than supportive, I’m nervous about how other family and friends will react to the news of our plans to have a baby. As much as I want to share all the ups and downs of TTC with everyone, I’m nervous about that, too. I’ve been reading TTC blogs for about 6 months now, and just about everything I know about IVF and same sex couples trying to conceive, have come from these blogs. I want our blog to be a source of information for future couples preparing to embark on this journey, just like the great blogs I’ve been reading. It’s also cheap therapy! But most importantly, the purpose of this blog is to document everything in the hopes of showing it to our future child sometime down the track.

Kate, my loving other half, and I met via Twitter about 2 years ago and became firm friends. We met in person and then started a relationship just over a year ago and are now happily engaged and living in Sydney. My desire to have a baby has never been a secret and we started discussing in June/July last year when the right time to have a baby would be. We both decided to start sooner rather than later, after reading and hearing of stories where conceiving a baby has taken years. We organised our private health insurance, started saving, and attended a same sex baby making seminar at a fertility clinic. In December, I had my lady parts poked and prodded to make sure everything looked right to go and received our doctor’s referral for our VERY FIRST appointment to get the ball rolling, which will be in February. Then there’s a 3 month cooling off period (I’m pretty sure the last 7 months has been adequate enough) before we actually begin IVF, either at the end of May or the end of June. We’re very excited and a little scared.

Practice Post

This is just a dry run. I'm impatient and wanted to start playing with our blog, but we're not actually going to begin posting until the new year.

Watch this space!