First Injection from Kate’s Perspective

Up until this point I have been pretty calm and relaxed about the injections and knowing Kris’s fear of needles and I was confident that it would be no drama for me to do it.  I have to admit it surprised me how stressful I found the whole first needle experience.

I was fine when the nurse took us through it all at the clinic and even after the appointment, I was fine that day thinking about it.  That afternoon Kris had to call to get the results of her blood test and get the go ahead for us to begin the injections, but was told to hold off for one more day and commence them the following evening.

This was where I began to come undone as it gave me more time to think about it.  That night I dreamed about giving Kris her first injection which resulted in her being inconsolable. I woke up wracked with guilt and begging her to forgive my dream self.  Kris promised me she wouldn’t cry and that it would be ok.  I went off to work and felt my nerves turning up a notch with every hour that passed.

As we got closer to injection time I was so nervous and yet trying to look calm so I wouldn’t freak Kris out. I don’t think I succeeded, my shaking hands and nervous chatter may have given me away.

I got the video camera all set up, we wanted to record this moment.  Then it was time to get the injection ready.  We were kind of fumbling our way through it at this point; I let Kris get the syringe sorted, I was still trying to hide my shaking hands from her.

I have to admit this is one of the scariest things I have ever done in my life, (coming from someone who jumped out of a plane in Africa).  I was scared that it would be difficult to get the needle into the skin and that it might offer some resistance, I was scared I was going to hurt Kris and I was scared that I was going to do it wrong.

Surprisingly the needle went straight in with no resistance at all, the hardest part was trying to push the drug through the pen, as it works on a kind of dial and you have to kind of push and turn it at the same time.  But we eventually got there and Kris assured me it didn’t hurt.  As soon as it was over the adrenalin & relief kicked in and my hands really started to shake so Kris quickly took the pen off me so I couldn’t inadvertently stab one of us with it.  I felt a huge sense of relief that the first one was over and we had now conquered the unknown and I could put all of my silly doubts and worries about this part of the process out of my head.  It’s that fear of the unknown that gets my subconscious working overtime thinking up all kinds of disastrous situations.

The next night Kris was going to try to do it herself but at the last minute just couldn’t bring herself to push the needle into the skin (I don’t blame her, I don’t think I could do it to myself either).  So it was up to me, and after our first one I had already learned/realised what we could do to make it easier.  This time was a breeze, no resistance of the dial and no shaking.

I am very proud of Kris she is being a very brave human pincushion.